jvar: (Adrift)
[personal profile] jvar
I've been adrift for a year. Disconnected from my spiritual side. I've ridden the wave of my past work to the shore.

And honestly, I miss it passionately. I need to reinvest in my spiritual health.

When I was a part of IRC, I had a lot of support and inspiration to push myself to learn and grow. Local pagan groups make my skin crawl. I feel like I miss out on a lot good stuff when I have to go it alone, but I'm just not cut out for group work.

So, in December I'm going to be pulling out my most beloved books and trying to reconnect again through ritual and writing. I think that I might post thoughts in this journal. I am not going to filter them, so expect to see some thoughts on magick, mysticism and mojo. Don't expect inspiration or revelations, I'm just slogging through myself.

I just know that if I'm going to be stuck in this disconnected social mode that I need to connect to the energy that surrounds me to feel whole. It's who I am. Time to refill the well.

Date: 2007-11-28 03:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hannunvaakuna.livejournal.com
you say the local groups make your skin crawl - have you ever considered forming your own? i know there have been some online ventures, but i know from my own experience i learn and absorb so much more when i see/hear/feel an instructor and then can try new things with a guide. i think you'd make a marvelous leader and guide...

Date: 2007-11-29 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] takarosa.livejournal.com
Actually, Brian and I have tried hosting some group work in the past, but the only thing that ever worked for us was the yearly Yule ritual with Matthew and Lisa. What happened with the other groups is that I end up doing all the work and become the teacher, but I want to learn, too, so that's frustrating. I originally met Rowan trying to get a group together, but he ended up making pathwork a competition and didn't share as much as pop off with great info he'd learned on his own but didn't share until it made him look good.

I keep hoping that eventually something will come together.

Date: 2007-11-28 04:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veleda.livejournal.com

that would be really cool. :)

i look forward to reading your stuffs!

Date: 2007-11-29 12:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] takarosa.livejournal.com
I love you, sweet woman, but your reply makes me nervous as hell. You are so far beyond me, lighting my path, that I can't imagine writing anything of interest for you.

I remember hearing a story told once, by Lon Duquette I think.... About how to talk to deity, and worrying about getting the words right and would they even be able to recognize that you're speaking to them and the person this was addressed to said it was a little like a mouse tugging on a man's pantleg and trying to speak. You might not understand what they are saying, but you recognize that this is a special mouse set apart that is trying to communicate. The humble creature compels you to stop and try to understand their request.

I feel like a mouse at your pantleg.

Date: 2007-11-28 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] specialagentm.livejournal.com
As fall came towards a close, I felt that same push. The last two weeks have sucked as I went through a big up and down period, but somehow it's all clicked in the last few days.

I unpacked a few Gnostic books last week too. Happened to find an old journal simultaneously, so I saw that as a sign to go this way... I figure on hunkering down as the snow falls and seeing what comes to mind.


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May 2016


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