Better living through chemicals

So...when I went to the Dr. the last time, I asked him for something better than 800mg Motrin, but not as knock-me-on-my-butt as Vicodin. He said that he had something that was exactly in the middle, called Ultram. I signed up for it. Sometimes, the ache in my hand, particularly when it's swells like it has in this heat the last week, gets to be too much to ignore. So, I pop a couple of these pretties and the pain doesn't go away so much as I stop caring about how it feels.

Now, I've noticed a side effect. It took a few times, but I think I am seeing the pattern. First, they make me feel very amorous. Ok, that's a gross understatement. I'm not sure if there's an adequate word, but it's pretty intense. (Lucky Brian, mostly). Of course, there's more to it. It also makes me feel very insecure. Again, gross understatement.

So, if I've come to you lately for reassurance, please know that this stuff is like steroids for my mind weasels.